Sleep training and illness

Let me start by saying, “It sucks when your baby is sick!” I know this firsthand as a parent and sleep consultant. My daughter has had her share of sick days, nights, holidays, and so on. This added more stress to my wife’s and my life. However, it also allowed me to figure out what to do regarding sleep training during this ‘joyful’ period.

Don’t press that start button…

If you haven’t started sleep training and your baby becomes ill, then it’s the perfect time not to start. It’s better to wait until your baby has recovered and then begin this wonderful journey.

There’s no way back…

If you’ve already started and made some progress, but suddenly your baby is sick, you can continue, but be prepared to make a lot of alterations and compromises to your original plan. This might include adding extra feeds (if your baby still needs them), extra cuddles, and overall, more “in your arms” time.

It’s important to remember that you should not regress by reintroducing something you successfully eliminated. Here are a few examples:

If your baby was able to self-soothe without a dummy (or pacifier, as our American friends call it 😊), do not bring it back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

If your baby fell asleep independently without you in the room or in the same bed before the illness, there is no need for you to start sleeping in the same room or bed again.

If your baby, like mine, needed to be rocked in your arms for 2-3 hours before being transferred to the cot, and you successfully stopped that (congrats, by the way), don’t start rocking your child to sleep again. Although, I would add that rocking isn’t bad, and you can still rock your child. Just be mindful of two things:

• Do not allow your baby to fall asleep in your arms, or you’ll quickly be back to square one, rocking them to sleep again. (NOOOOO!!)

• Rocking should be for comfort only, to help them get into a sleepy mood, which is sometimes necessary when your baby’s illness symptoms prevent them from relaxing.

The above examples are by no means an exhaustive list; every child is different. Before sleep training, we as parents or guardians sometimes had to do our own thing to get them to sleep (sometimes weird things), but if you’ve moved past that, then remember those things only as embarrassing stories to tell their friends on their 21st birthday.

Wait…What?

Before reading the next part, please take a deep breath. Breathe in… Okay, we’re ready to continue.

So, remember how I just told you not to fall back into the habits your baby was able to shed? Yes? Good. Do you know what I’m going to say next? – You’re right – still try not to do them. But now I’m adding an extra word – try. And this is the part where you can exhale and say, “What the F…?”

I have to use the word “try” because it’s hard not to fall back into previous habits that worked for you and your baby. Sure, they may not be advisable, but they worked, and when you have a crying, fussy baby in your arms, you want something that works. I’ve been there, and so has every sleep consultant, parent, guardian, and human being on the planet. Therefore, my advice is simple: If you feel strong both mentally and physically, please try to follow the recommendations I’ve made earlier in this post. Do not regress.

However, if you’re desperate and nothing else works, then give that dummy, rock your baby (or ask your partner to do so), sing, dance, do whatever you feel is going to work or has worked before to help your baby sleep. It’s okay; you will not ruin anything. The important thing is for your baby to get that sleep because that’s when their body does most of the fighting against any illness. Once they feel better, you can retrain, which isn’t hard, and enjoy all the sleep training benefits.

Good luck, and if you need some help, please reach out to me.